Tag Archives: One Piece

5 Reasons You Should Never Buy a Crochet Monokini

I know what you’re thinking, but you just posted a photo of one. But I’m here to tell you, not without angst and discomfort that I feel like is my duty to share.  I bought a crochet monokini for my trip to Cancun after I had seen it worn on my Instagram explore page and felt inspired to follow the trend. I opened the packaging as soon as it arrived and inside, I found some pieces of string. Don’t get me wrong, I got some nice pictures in this bathing suit, so the point of this article is not to try and persuade you to boycott the knit bathing suit market (I guess my title is a little misleading). Let’s be real, if you have your heart set on buying one, you’re going to buy one anyway. The point of this is more to let you know what conditions you should mentally prepare for, should you choose to wear this piece (such as breezes, sand, water, etc.)

1.You can’t swim in it. I attempted to put the bathing suit on as 4 of my closest friends helped me secure it onto my body in a way that it hopefully wouldn’t come off: body tape, body pins, tight knots,  you name it, we tried it. When I made my way to the beach and dove into the water, I quickly realized that everyone on the beach was about to get a show. It completely lost all form of a bathing suit and was definitely no longer secure. Clearly I’m the idiot here,  because who wears this type of material into the ocean anyway? Lesson learned.

2. The bathing suit will change sizes as it dries. If you know anything about yarn, this probably comes as no surprise to you. But if you’re like me and have never had the experience of draping yarn across your body, this material shrinks as it dries. This means all the places that your monokini covered at the beginning of the day, it probably won’t cover after you spend a few minutes drying off in the sun. Like I said, if you’re going to buy it, you’re going to buy it. So maybe err on the larger side when purchasing?

3. Suddenly, you’ve got sand in all the wrong places. Apparently there are reasons that normal bathing suits don’t have holes in them. So maybe this suit is great for locations like your backyard, or grabbing a spot by the pool. Bikini’s barely cover any skin either, but something about the holes in a crochet monokini created some kind of sand burn on my skin. So, no making snow angels in the sand with this fabric.

4. It has the shortest lifecycle, ever. Due to factors such as the bathing suit shrinkage and the sand that bunched in the small threads that made up the yarn in the bathing suit, this piece went straight to the trash after my day at the beach. After trying to wash it off in the shower, it became clear that the sand had a lifelong bond with this monokini that could never be taken away. Maybe save some money and take a craft class at Michaels instead?

5. It doesn’t do much for any body type.  Because this bathing suit is completely see through, it really can’t hide a thing. Whether it’s a scar or a little extra belly fat, this bathing suit will definitely put it on display. If you like the au naturale look, then you will probably appreciate the fact that this bathing suit comes with no padding or support. But if you like a little extra boost, this might not be your cup of tea.

So in conclusion, hopefully you can learn from this article that if you invest in a crochet monokini, do your best not to go near water, sand, or probably do any moving at all while you’re wearing it. I have no regrets in buying this piece, since it was a good source of entertainment for my friends and I. However, I highly suggest buying the black option over the white if you are seriously considering this bathing suit. As each one of my previous points is amplified times 10 if you wear this yarn suit in white. Most importantly, if you’re looking to save a little money, whatever you do, don’t spend a fortune buying this piece on Etsy, they have the exact same one on the swimwear section of Walmart’s website 🙂 yes, apparently Walmart sells crochet monokinis.